Friday, April 26, 2013

Now I finally see it

Blogging too much? You bet.

I now truly understand my father's words. I now know why he did not want me to have too full a pride. Because this pride is ungrounded, there shouldn't be this pride of being yourself. You can be proud of being a part of something, you can be proud of your country, you can swell yourself up with pride watching your national flag flying in the wind...but you just can't be proud of yourself.

Why? (I like how François put it, if you are the rational kind of person who wants to know the reason to everything..)

Because you are not privileged enough to be proud of yourself. What great contributions have you made in order to fill yourself up with such pride? Were other awesome achievers proud of what they have done? No, they simply did it and moved on. So that proves to you that you should not be blindly proud of yourself.

Being proud and having confidence are two different different things. Having confidence is believing in yourself that you can carry out a certain task without fail, without crumbling and drowning people in tears. Being proud is thinking that you are the best and nobody else is good enough for you.

I was too proud for my own sake or too scared. But either way, this has to stop.

One way to do so is focus on the good things that other people have. Get to know the other people. Learn their story. I know I have been lazy and guilty of being anti-social and sometimes too proud to even talk to certain people. This is wrong and not how I should turn out to be. So it shall be changed.

I will not secretly judge people and have prejudice against people that I have not gotten to know. 

I will do my best to be open to people and strike up conversations no matter how reluctant I am. Hell, I will not be reluctant. Even if it is people that I am secretly afraid of, I will at least make eye contact and say Hi, and acknowledge people's presence.

Try to be more cooperative under social situations and be at least a teeny bit aware of my social standings so that at least I don't become a nuisance to my friends. (Depends on who actually)

As much as I would like to become more socially responsible, I refuse to conform to ludicrous use of time to socialize! or MINGLE, its stupid and I don't like it. I be nice, you be nice, if we get to be friends, good, if not, BYEeeee. Rarr I love being this anti-social thing. But then again, nobody will help me, I gotta help myself. Just like how people can just snap at you for nothing, people can turn on you like how they can flip a coin. So, must lookout for myself, and lookout for other people. No need to be foolproof and perfect all the time, just need to make sure people see your effort. But don't have to be fake about it too. I still wanna like myself.

No comments:

Post a Comment